This weekend brings with it the annual observance of Memorial Day, the day set aside by the United States to honor those who have fallen in defense of the country on battlefields foreign and domestic. As a veteran of our country’s armed services, as one who has seen service in armed conflict, and as a former chaplain who was privileged (and yet deeply saddened) to perform the last rights on two young men who died during Desert Storm, I am deeply moved each Memorial Day. I remember their names: James Cunningham (of Glendale, Arizona) and Anthony Stewart (of Yonkers, New York). They were my pastoral charges. My heart still goes out to their families, and my prayers still ascend heavenward seeking the repose of their souls in the Larger Life promised by God.

So, Memorial Day was originally set aside for — and I believe should be reserved for — those who gave their all.

That’s also why I have a pet peeve about the way we usually celebrate Memorial Day. In our haste to honor all those who serve our country in its military, we have adapted Memorial Day into a second Veterans Day. Those who came home alive are honored in November, and most veterans (like me) are reluctant to accept even those small accolades. We were there. We did our best. Most feel that does not make us special, and that is certainly rooted deep in my heart. Most veterans know the difference between doing one’s duty and true heroism. And veterans know that Memorial Day is for the heroes who truly are heroes and that the day should be reserved for them. Even Jesus alludes to the difference in Luke 17:10.

17¹⁰“So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’”

There’s duty, and there’s going beyond.

So, Memorial Day was originally set aside for — and I believe should be reserved for — those who gave their all.

All of that is good, but it too often leads us to neglect Memorial Day, to make Memorial Day into a day of frivolity, and to disregard the day’s serious and proper purpose.

My other pet peeve about Memorial Day (and I am sometimes guilty of this too) is that it signals the beginning of summer. Swimming pools and beaches open. The savory smell of cookouts permeates the neighborhood. Vacations start. Families flock to the lakes for the long weekend. Baseball and tailgating become the attraction of the day. All of that is good, but it too often leads us to neglect Memorial Day, to make Memorial Day into a day of frivolity, and to disregard the day’s serious and proper purpose.

I hope you will join me this Memorial Day to honor those who richly deserve our tribute, to take time to do so even before the bar-b-que begins, and to remember that freedom isn’t free, that the cost has been paid and is being paid still. I’d highly appreciate you adding your prayers to mine for the two young Marines I always remember, James and Anthony. May they, and all our heroes, Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory.

The Rt. Rev. Martin S. Field (Bishop Marty) is the eighth bishop of The Diocese of West Missouri.

This text was originally posted in From the Bishop, May 2021, Bishop Marty’s monthly letter to the clergy of the diocese.